A Letter to A New Griever

Dear One,

You never imagined you would be here. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish we could sit across from one another. Here’s what I would say.

You’ve entered a dark cave, a place where you’ve never been. You can’t see yet. It’s scary, jarring, and feels like you are running out of air. The grief seems unbearable. You wonder if you will make it. Listen to me. You will make it. Where you are today is not where you will stay.

Little by little, there will be a dim light to help you see. The light is showing you the love you had for your person. The love is why you grieve. Yes, it hurts. The love is still there, and your person isn’t. It’s not an equation that makes sense. Love and grief are a strange duet.

You may feel alone. No one had the relationship you had. But there are others who know the pain of grief. They will walk with you. You are not alone.

You’ll have questions for God. “Why, O Lord?” “How long, O Lord?”  David asked the same questions in his laments in the Psalms. God sees you, hears you, and collects all your tears in a bottle. There is a comfort that only comes from God, holding you and being with you. Emmanuel, God with us, is a reality. Run to Him, get angry, and cry. God can handle it. Let Him in.

That’s all for now. Your brain and body can only take in so much.  Be gentle with yourself. Let people help you. Take all the time you need to grieve. You loved, and so you will grieve. I’m walking with you.

Take care,

Pam

‘‘Grateful Yet Grieving’’

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download

Thoughts and Quotes

My journey to understand, learn, and educate myself about grief began eight years ago after my husband suddenly died. I went on a desperate search to find words to describe my sorrow, pain, and mourning. In the beginning, I couldn’t retain or read more than a paragraph. My grief brain was limited.

Over time, I’ve collected multiple quotes describing what grief looks like and have included them in my blog posts. As I’ve read other people’s stories and processed my own grief, I’ve come up with some of my own quotes to give words to what grief looks like. Here are a few for you to consider:  

Some things can only be seen in the dark.

Where you are is not where you will stay.

Loss does not define us, but it will change us.

With loss comes gain. You gain a different perspective as you move through the maze of grief.

Grief is like a bridge under construction. There’s a process of removal, renovation, rebuilding, and reconfiguration.

Knowing my grief is normal because I loved my husband is actually an expression of my love for him.

You don’t have to have the same loss to offer comfort to someone who is grieving.

Gratitude can be our life raft on the waves of grief.

As we grieve, our tears are being collected and gathered by the Lord.

My hope in sharing is that you will find hope in your journey, see your grief as a path to growth, deepen your relationship with God, and know you are not alone.

‘‘Grateful Yet Grieving’’

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download