Space for Grace
During July, I made a deliberate decision to unplug from social media. Throughout the spring, I noticed I was spending too much time on my phone. Every Sunday morning, my phone would tell me how much time I had spent on it. I sensed I was not paying close attention to my inner life, and it was affecting my outer life. In addition, I took a break from writing, stepped back from ministry, and took an adventure with my daughter.
What did I miss? A few friends' birthdays, photos of grandchildren, and funny reels. However, I didn’t miss the ache of seeing photos of couples celebrating another anniversary.
What did I discover? No longer scrolling made room for noticing; looking up and not down at my phone, paying attention to what was happening in the moment, rather than what other people were doing, as well as being content with where I was, without comparing my life to that of others.
I called it “my space for grace.” There’s a beautiful photograph hanging on the wall in my living area, given to me by the photographer. He knew my husband and gave me the picture after my husband died. It’s been on my wall for 6 years. I pass it every time I go to the garage. But every now and then, I stop and take a closer look. I look at the buildings. I look at the vineyard. I look at the sky. I examine the details. The photograph is filled with nuances of beauty that can only be seen when you pause and look, not pass and glance.
Dr. Curt Thompson, author of “Anatomy of the Soul,” gave a reminder at a conference where I heard him speak recently: “We pay attention to what we pay attention to.”
My month off social media allowed me to slow down, pay attention, and take a closer look at what was going on inside. My grief is still there. It’s softened in some ways and is less intense. It comes along in moments when I least expect it. I’ve discovered in the “space for grace,” there’s room for my grief to remain.
