A Love Like No Other

A few days after Christmas I ran to Target to see what might be half price in the Christmas leftovers.  I was surprised to see they were clearing out all the space and putting up Valentine’s Day merchandise.  It wasn’t even January 1 yet.

We don’t have to be reminded that February brings a difficult holiday.  When my kids were in preschool and elementary school, we would scramble the night before to get all the Valentine’s Day cards and candy for them to take to their classmates.  Everyone received a Valentine and piece of candy attached that was placed in a bag on their desk.  Each child was made to feel special. No one was left out.

As adults, it’s hard to not feel left out on Valentine’s Day.  My adult children informed me that there’s another name for Valentine’s Day – Single Awareness Day.  Ugh…

Since my husband died, I’ve had to reframe how I look at my life.  Will I see only the things I no longer have?  Will I look at the world and listen to what it says about who I am?  Will I believe the lie that views being in a relationship the most important part of your identity?

The answers to those questions have allowed me to see through a different lens.  I am reminded of how God, the Creator of the universe loves me and continues to demonstrate that love to me in tangible ways. God’s love for me dominates, sustains, surrounds, and comforts me as I move forward. 

The hymn, “Jesus, Lover of my Soul”, written by Charles Wesley has described the kind of love that hides us in the shadow of God’s wings.  A love that will never leave us; a love that will protect us; a love that has saved us; a love that comforts us; a love that is forever.  Let the lyrics below remind you of the One who loves you beyond what you can comprehend, unlike no human can, with an unconditional, unfailing, soul-satisfying, and everlasting love.

"Jesus, Lover of My Soul"

Jesus, lover of my soul, / Let me to Thy bosom fly, / While the nearer waters roll, / While the tempest still is high. / Hide me, O my Savior, hide, / Till the storm of life is past; / Safe into the haven guide; / O, receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, / Hangs my helpless soul on Thee; / Leave, O, leave me not alone, / Still support and comfort me. / All my trust on Thee is stayed, / All my help from Thee I bring; / Cover my defenseless head / With the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, / More than all in Thee I find; / Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, / Heal the sick, and lead the blind. / Just and holy is Thy name, / I am all unrighteousness, / False and full of sin I am; / Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, / Grace to cover all my sin; / Let the healing streams abound; / Make and keep me pure within. / Thou of life the fountain art, / Freely let me take of Thee; / Spring Thou up within my heart; /Rise to all eternity.

"Grateful Yet Grieving"

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download

Does It Get Easier?

Days, weeks, and months have turned into 4 years since my husband suddenly died.  At times it seems like it was a lifetime ago, and other days, it feels like it was last month.  In the first weeks, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  But I’m still here. 

Someone asked, “Does it get easier?”  I’m not sure.

The word easier is not what I would use.  Is it easier to walk with a prosthetic leg, when you use to walk normally?  This past week I heard a man speak who lost his vision while he was in high school.  He described his life now as a 50-year-old.  He said he misses seeing things as someone with vision but has developed his other senses to notice and experience the world.  Does he miss being able to see the faces of those he loved, or the sunset?  Of course.  But he’s learned to adapt.  I guess that’s what I’d call it.  I’ve learned to adapt.  With that, here are some things I’ve learned on the journey so far. 

1.        You cannot stop loving someone just because they aren’t here.  I love Fred more and miss him every day and will until I see him in heaven.

2.       I’ve found God to be who He says He is: my Refuge, Strong Tower, Faithful Friend, and Comforter.  God has carried me and continues to comfort me from His Word, with words that sustain me.

3.       Grief is not linear or contained.  Like a storm without warning, it can engulf you and take you down.  I’ve learned that I don’t have to stay down.

4.       Grief produces growth.  David Brooks says, “Suffering opens up the deepest sources of the self and exposes fresh soil for new growth.”  I’ve discovered parts of myself I never knew were there.  I’m not who I was as a married person.  Part of me died when Fred died, but part of me came to life.

5.       Grief feels like you are drowning, while at the same time you spot a life preserver.  It starts to float toward you as you gasp for air.  There’s hope that you will survive.

6.       Each of us takes our own journey with grief.  It’s unique to you and your relationship with the person you loved and lost.  We all grieve in our own way.

7.       We can’t go it alone.  Clinging to my faith and having companions along the way have carried me when I could barely walk emotionally.  Healing happens in community.

8.       We can grieve while having hope of life beyond this earth.  God has made a way for us. 

Heaven awaits.  Thanks be to God.

"Grateful Yet Grieving"

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download