Shared Sorrow

The shared experience of loss is powerful. We each have our own unique grief journey; however, we are not alone. Authors, Patrick O’Malley and Tim Madigan from their book, “Getting Grief Right”, offer this: “Support groups offer a beautiful balance between the uniqueness of the individual’s grief narrative and the universal experience of loss that joins individual stories into one, the story of humanity.” In other words, we are better together, and we aren’t meant to walk alone.

If you do an online search for grief support groups, there will be multiples to choose from. Most hospitals offer support groups through hospice. Some churches have their own support groups for their local congregation. One program that many churches host is called GriefShare. “GriefShare seminars and support groups are led by people who understand what you are going through and want to help. You’ll gain access to valuable GriefShare resources to help you recover from your loss and look forward to rebuilding your life.” (from the GriefShare website)

In 2019, a year after my husband suddenly died, I attended a GriefShare group at my church.

For 13 weeks I attended a meeting with other people who were wondering if we would make it after the loss of our loved one. I found three things in attending a GriefShare support group.

1. There was an unspoken hope in sharing our stories. A box of Kleenex was strategically placed so we could have permission to cry. Our tears were accepted and honored.

2. This was a place to put my grief. Going through the second year following the loss of my husband, I held on to the knowledge that I was going to go to a meeting that week; the meeting was a rope to hold on to.

3. The GriefShare videos gave voices and words to the unspeakable experience of losing a loved one. There were professionals who shared insight and people who shared their stories of life in the aftermath of loss.

There will be many moments of grieving alone; however, we can discover others who have been where we are, who understand, and give us a look that says, “I know”.

"Grateful Yet Grieving"

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download

Pen + Paper = Process

As I was cleaning out some drawers recently, I found some old journals from years ago.
During my days as a young mom, I would often journal my prayers to God, taking a moment to reflect and write down thoughts and feelings that I needed to put somewhere.

Basically, journaling is just that; a place to put our feelings, thoughts, prayers, and reflections. My definition of journaling is “an expression of an experience using a pen and paper to process.” Journaling has often sounded like “homework” and makes some people think they would rather be in the dentist’s chair than sit in front of a blank piece of paper.

The long-standing practice of journaling has been proven to be one of the best ways to
process our thoughts and feelings. The research is filled with the benefits of journaling for our mental health. Here are a few:

• reduces stress

• brings clarity to a situation

• offers insight

• allows your brain to declutter

During the first year after my husband died, I filled eight journals. I needed somewhere to bring order to my chaos, lament my pain, cry out to God, find words to describe my grief and navigate my way through the valley.

As you read through the Psalms, it’s like reading David’s journal describing his struggles and sorrows, battles and blessings, praises and prayers. As you consider whether to journal, there’s no right way to do it and no one will read it unless you want to share it. Starting can be as simple as writing down an answer to a question, “Where are you?” the same question God asked Adam and Eve in the garden.

In a recent conversation with my dear friend, Maggie, who lost her son in an accident, she gave this statement about grief; “It’s not going away until you let it out.” Journaling can be one way to let it out as you move through your grief and process the pain.

"Grateful Yet Grieving"

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download