So much of life is defined by beginnings and endings. In the last 6 months, I’ve attended three funerals and one college graduation.

All of the events were marked by a start and a finish. All of the events provided the participants with an experience of collective connection.

The funerals were all for women I knew. Each of them fought the gut-wrenching ravages of cancer. As I listened to the words spoken by their children and their spouse, I ached and empathized with them, as they stood where they never wanted to be. Courage rose above their pain; love made them stand tall and speak when they wanted to crawl into a cave. Grief encapsulated the space with the reality of loss through a megaphone of love. The “house of mourning,” as Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, reminded those of us attending that life is short with a beginning and an end.

Sharing stories of their loved one offered those listening a closer look into their private world. The videos provided glimpses of life events, holidays, birthdays, and everyday moments of their loved one. How do you capture a lifetime in a 3-minute video? You don’t. Life is lived in daily moments over the years that we’ve been given. The risk of loving comes with the muted voicemail; we will grieve our loved ones when they die.

The three women whose funerals I attended left a lasting legacy of walking with God, loving well, serving unselfishly, and making a difference in people's lives. They were loved. So, we must grieve.

We can’t have one without the other. Over time, our grief takes up less space in our lives, but it will always be present. Over time, our love continues to grow and sustain us as we grieve. Grief is evidence of our love.

‘‘Grateful Yet Grieving’’

FREE ebook by Pam Luschei | Click HERE To Download

By Sarah Christy

I am someone who knows grief and desires to live in the light. I am a writer and a close friend of God who prompts me to Keep Going.

I have always enjoyed words and stories and have used journaling as a way of processing my life.

My husband of 58 years died in June. He had Alzheimer’s; I cared for him as he slowly faded away. When we had his services, I wanted to tell the story of this good man who had lived life well––I believe I did.

In addition to writing a good story, I wanted to speak without wavering and without tears. I did. I was proud of myself.

The punchline comes next…relieved to have accomplished my goal, I turned quickly…unaware of a step down and crashed to the ground. My friend said you were there, then you weren’t; everyone gasped. I waved my hand, yelling, “I’m OK.” I got up and carefully walked to my seat. This is what grief does to us, one minute you are strong and feeling together, and the next you are lying on the ground needing to get back up on this journey of life. The challenge of getting up and continuing to live life fully is often hard.

While my Christian faith has supported me throughout my life, my husband’s diagnosis caused me to spend several years mad at God. I struggled to pray, read the Bible, or engage with others as part of the Christian community. I told God that I was a good person, I had already suffered the deaths of two sons, and I didn’t deserve to watch my husband die of this awful disease.

I didn’t get a direct answer from God, nor any life-changing insight. I did receive the strength to continue to go forward. I often sat looking at the sky, reminding myself of God’s love that I couldn’t feel. At bedtime, I would take out my little dog. While waiting, I developed the habit of gazing at the sky, standing alone, and feeling the fresh air on my skin. I felt comfort. This little ritual helped my soul. While I gazed at the moon, I hadn’t thought much about it. Now the ongoing changes fascinated me: a reminder of God’s omnipresent world.

I have continued to stand alone, looking at the night sky. Thankful for this big, beautiful world and knowing God is with me. I began sharing pictures of the sky, hoping to encourage others. Walking a grief journey is hard, and often we struggle to see anything good. Mr. Rogers told the children to look for the helpers around them. In grief, we need to look around for all the little things that can help us keep going.

https://www.keepgoingbysarah.net/

Her book is available on Amazon. Here's the link:
https://www.amazon.com/Keep-Going-Story-Resilience-Faith/dp/1982216026