Notes on Hope Devotional

When Seasons Turn Into Stories

By Karis Meier

"She said to them, 'Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?'" Ruth 1:20–21 ESV

Once in a while as a family, we will gather together and look at pictures and videos, reminiscing about our past. There's usually a lot of laughter, some tears, and a variety of stories that come from those times. As we were doing this last night, we came across a few early photos from before Ben and I were married, before chronic illness invaded my life. As I looked at those pictures of my younger, unsuspecting, happy self, I felt loss and grief. There was no going back to those times before years of pain and sickness and disappointment changed my perspective on life, on God, and on the future.

After Naomi loses her husband and two sons, she returns to her hometown of Bethlehem. The familiar sights and smells and people flood her with the distressing reminder of all that she has lost. She left this place full and is returning empty. Naomi interpreted her difficult circumstances as God's anger and punishment toward her. She changes her name from meaning "pleasant" to "bitter." Three tragic deaths of her loved ones could only mean that God was against her.

It's easy to let our circumstances filter how we see God, how we relate to him, and what we come to believe about him. When the suffering in our lives is cumulative and unrelenting, we start to wonder if it's personal and seek responsibility for the pain we are feeling. Questions and doubts flood our minds. What horrible thing did I do to deserve this? Why is God against me?

I have a very different relationship with God now than I did twenty-five years ago. Sometimes I look back on those years with longing, desiring to feel blissfully ignorant joy in my relationship with God. I felt sure of God's sovereign rule and unconditional love in my life. And when my health troubles began, I took it in stride, thinking I would make it through in time, but they didn't end. And that is where my faith was tested and my belief in God was proved genuine. It has been a slow, painful growth with plenty of bitterness, anger, and tears along the way, but I wouldn't trade the depth of my relationship with God for easier times.

When Naomi returned empty to her hometown, she probably never imagined she would soon have a grandson sitting on her lap. The same people who witnessed her tragedy recognized God's restoration: "Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him" (Ruth 4:14–15 ESV). This grandson would be the heir of Jesus, bringing redemption to the whole world.

When the seasons of our lives turn into stories, it's hard not to jump to conclusions about who God is or how he sees us. But we serve the same God Ruth did, and we can trust that he will also bring redemption to each one of our stories, in his time and in his way.

Redeemer, you are the restorer of life and the author of our stories. Thank you that you are faithful in all your works and loving in all that you do. Help me to see this chapter of my life through your eyes and to grow in knowing you more every day.

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